Hi everyone. I’m new to this club and was hoping I could get some advice for a serious problem. First, I can not afford a lawyer, and have been trying to represent myself Pro-se. I obtained custody of my oldest(daughter) in June of 98, through a mediation agreement. The mediation attorney was somehow connected to my ex’s attorney and both have been working together against my situation. The mediation agreement was never filed in the courts by the attorney. I have a copy of the hand written agreement that was signed by myself, my ex, and the attorney. It specifically indicates that the child support would be adjusted according to the guidelines. The company I was working for at the time of the agreement, was automatically deducting child support for both children, in addition to me paying for their medical and dental.
I accepted a voluntary retirement from them because of the possibility of my department being privatized, and figured that at least I would get something from them even after the management company came in and took over. Even though my daughter was with me, they were still taking out the support for both children. I lost my wife shortly thereafter and had enough to worry about dealing with the grief, and the fact that I couldn’t afford a lawyer, figured that I would be leaving the company in a few months, so I decided it wasn’t worth the grief to try to stop the IDO. Well, after I left the company, my ex went back to court, because she was no longer getting the support, and with the help of her lawyer, put me in contempt. The court didn’t want to hear about the fact that I had my daughter, had a legal agreement with my ex that was signed and witnessed.
They found me in contempt, indicated that I would have to come up with a $500 purge payment to stay out of jail, and would have to continue to give her child support for both children. They also figured that because I stopped paying her support after the IDO stopped, when I left the company I retired from, that I was also in arrears for almost $14000 to her. I never heard of anything so stupid. I thought the courts were suppose to uphold justice. The signed agreement I have means nothing according to what the legal system has allowed. Is my ex not guilty of fraud, and what can I do to stop this, and get back the money she received and is continuing to receive that she should not be. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
I have visitation rights of my two children here in Florida. I had to petition the court numerous times to get them to enforce the visitation because my ex refused. Since then, visitation has still not been consistent; my ex attempting to place the children in the middle. My children are 15 and 9. I have contacted HRS in my county several times concerning neglect on my ex’s part…three times the report concluded possible neglect, but nothing was done. I was told that I’d need to get a lawyer. My 15 yr old was kept expelled from school last year for trouble she got into.
When the timperiod was up and it was time for her to back to school, my ex did not send her and the child was kept out of school for approximately 5 months…failing because of it. I have contacted the school, the school board, local newspapers, Child Welfare, and was told by everyone that nothing could be done and I needed to get a lawyer.
My 9 year old is left alone after school (the 15yr old lives with my step son)because my ex works from 4pm until 12am sometimes longer. My concerns with this is that my ex wife is Korean born, has not applied herself to learn this language and doesn’t take the time to help my 9 yr old with her homework.
I want custody and although I’m “saving” for a lawyer,, find it hard to believe that nothing has been done to this point. Advcie, comments?
I’m here to fight for Dad’s rights. The father’s role in a child’s life is not important to our current system. The only thing which matters is child support. The more they collect, and the more “deadbeats” they punish, the better.
Never mind that many CS awards are unreasonably high, even exceeding the Dad’s actual income in some cases. Never mind that the mother isn’t required to account for a penny of the money she’s entrusted with.
We need to pursue “presumption of joint custody” laws which would discourage these mothers from using the system to turn fathers into walking ATM machines.
I’m glad to be a part of the group…it looks like there’s a lot of traffic here. I would also ask other Dads to take the survey
I did not refer to that story to say it is hopeless but to point out that she should not be trusted if she says the offer has been dropped or to ask him to come over to get his things.
I should have mentioned the very things you have said and it is so good that you have said them.
Thank you so much.
Often seems seem hopeless but that can be a false impression. There was once a young man that was sold into salvary by his own brothers. Later he was accused of rape by his bosses wife when “SHE” tried to seduce him and he said no. He was placed in prison for this but later his former boss needed something that only he could do. After he did it, he was made the 2nd highest ruler of this land. Yes, his name was Joesph and this true story is found in Genesis chapters 37-50. Do not lose faith in God my friend. Prayer does change things.
Don’t sound as though all is lost…it is not…Think of your children…and fight for them….In the story that for the lamb suggested you read….that man lost and his children lost…If you are half the father you claim to be…then you will fight for survival…because even though you may not feel this is true…I speak to you from experience….Your children will some day need you…You and only You will be able to fulfill their need…Each one of my three children have come to me as young adults and have stated that something was missing from their lives…that something was me….
They needed my help….This has happened on separate occasions with each child…They have told me they have always loved me…and the only reason they went along with their mother and did and acted as she requested was for their own survival…they just didn’t know any better also….When I think back to these times it brings tears to my eyes…I am so thankful that God instilled in me to stay and fight…now I think I am just about beyond my ex and her injustices…I remarried and have a wonderful wife who has helped me for the last 13 years…she too has suffered greatly by all my ex has done…
I know that she loves me so very much as she has hurt each time I have hurt…and yet she has comforted me….I also have a wonderful 7 year old daughter who loves her Daddy and we share life as a family as it should be….so look ahead..fight each fight as it comes to you and to the best of your ability….print this post and carry it in your pocket to remind you that even under the most extreme circumstances…life has a way of working out if you keep faith in yourself and God….