You may have to pay back welfare

You may have to pay back welfare, regardless of whether she defrauded them or not. It is very rare that they will prosecute a mother for fraud when they can go after the father.

There is a case in Modesto where a father has always had custody, for 16 years. The mother kept filing for welfare/AFDC and getting it. But, rather than prosecute her, they went after him. He currently owes over $25,000.

And if he smart he will make sure he doesn’t pay a dime and forces the government to declare fraud on the mother.

Will this happen – no because:

1) the false belief fathers are paychecks and

2) no one wants to rock the boat or the gravy train.

Going to court soon

Back in February, my ex wife decided to move to New Mexico with her boyfriend leaving my 9 year old daughter with me. I promptly filed for custody. Since then my daughter has beed therapy because her mother constantly makes her feel bad when she calls he. Plus she has venomous creatures at her new home NM. My daughter refuses to fly to NM alone and her mother wont come here.

Her mother countered my claim saying a lot of lies that I can easily prove otherwise. My ex wife also committed fraud with welfare to receive benefits, I reported her because she claimed at the time I had nothing to do with my daughter.

We are slated to go to court at the end of this month. Do you all think I have a good chance winning ?

I am asking this because I am a father wanting custody of my daughter.

Any input or suggestions…

Perjury By Ex Wife

My ex wife lied to the judge in order to get higher child support from me. Our daughter was living with her grandparents and my ex told the judge this morning that she was back with her as of last night.

I called the Dept. of children’s services and they said it’s not true. She will be going back next week. How can can I bring perjury charges against her. What forms do I use? Also, can I get the CS lowered?

Any help would be appreciated.

If your question is

If your question is “do I have a good chance of winning custody” I think the answer is “yes”. I’d say you have a very good chance. To strengthen your case, youmight want to do the following:

formally accuse your ex of abandonment. Many men loose out when the wife demands a divorce and they move out of the family home. Then the ex accuses them of abandonment and the father is toast. Do the same thing here – file papers accusing her of abandoning your daughter.

make sure your daughter WANTS to live with you. I’m sure she does, but have her ready to tell the judge that.

File “Innocent Spouse” forms with the IRS. This MAY save you from being prosecuted over the ex’s fraud.

Get proof of the dangerous critters in NM. Otherwise, the judge may force you to fly your daughter there against your and her wishes.

These lies you mention – again, get PROOF. HARD PHYSICAL EVIDENCE! Judges like that stuff and won’t give you any credit without it. Don’t demand that she prove what she is saying — you have to prove she’s lying.

See if the therapist will support you either in person or with a NOTARIZED letter. My son’s therapist supported us when we went for custody and it helped a lot.

Get enough money. You’ll need it to pay your attorney. I always use sites like Elcloans to apply for loans online – it saves a lot of time and efforts!

Be prepared with a WRITTEN parenting plan. How will you raise her alone? What changes can you/will you/have you made in your life and work to make sure she is cared for? What about interaction with the ex’s parents? And include all the potentially embarassing stuff like what will you do when she has her first period?? (Thank god I’m raising a son!!!)

Silly stuff – make sure (MAKE SURE!!!!) you know the names addresses and phone numbers of her teachers, best friends, doctor, dentist. it floors judges when ANY father knows this stuff and shows you are interested and committed.

If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know. I think absolutely you’ll win but always BE PREPARED!! Good luck


First I apologize for vanishing the way I did. I was laid off ten weeks ago and have focused all my energy on finding a new job.

It looks like I may get two offers in the next few weeks. The bad news is that both jobs are in Mass. and I live in PA. I am a custodial father and I know my ex will fight this with everything she has. Anyone have any advice on how to fight back?

For the record, the custody orders do not give her ANY court ordered visitation rights. The only ones she has are the ones I confer on her and I’ve been real easy with it. I can fill in the details if anyone needs them but the issue is how do I fight back against her efforts to keep me from moving?

Each time we have been in court

Her attorney has indicated 2 children. Never once giving the fact that I now have custody of my daughter. I have tried several time to provide proof through statements and evidence (all pertinent documents), and the courts will not recognize it.

On one such occasions I had a Hearing officer tell me to “shut up and go hire an attorney”, when I tried to provide documents and answer a question that she asked pertaining to the custody situation.

I don’t mean to sound bias, but her attorney (women) has gotten each and every hearing before another women. She began doing this after one hearing before a man, who became visibly upset with her and reprimanded her.

Re: Need Help

Since you went pro-se before I am assuming you are familiar with the Florida Family Laws, but just in case here is the link where it can be found online.

I have found knowledge to be my best weapon in court, make the child support guide lines and laws your bible if you have to! I would like to know how she is proposing that you owe for BOTH children when you have had one of them.

Make sure you have documented proof the child has been with you. School and medical records, pictures of her in your house and of her room. Statements from friends and family ect. This is pure idiocy on the part of the court! Best of luck to you.

Need Help

Hi everyone. I’m new to this club and was hoping I could get some advice for a serious problem. First, I can not afford a lawyer, and have been trying to represent myself Pro-se. I obtained custody of my oldest(daughter) in June of 98, through a mediation agreement. The mediation attorney was somehow connected to my ex’s attorney and both have been working together against my situation. The mediation agreement was never filed in the courts by the attorney. I have a copy of the hand written agreement that was signed by myself, my ex, and the attorney. It specifically indicates that the child support would be adjusted according to the guidelines. The company I was working for at the time of the agreement, was automatically deducting child support for both children, in addition to me paying for their medical and dental.

I accepted a voluntary retirement from them because of the possibility of my department being privatized, and figured that at least I would get something from them even after the management company came in and took over. Even though my daughter was with me, they were still taking out the support for both children. I lost my wife shortly thereafter and had enough to worry about dealing with the grief, and the fact that I couldn’t afford a lawyer, figured that I would be leaving the company in a few months, so I decided it wasn’t worth the grief to try to stop the IDO. Well, after I left the company, my ex went back to court, because she was no longer getting the support, and with the help of her lawyer, put me in contempt. The court didn’t want to hear about the fact that I had my daughter, had a legal agreement with my ex that was signed and witnessed.

They found me in contempt, indicated that I would have to come up with a $500 purge payment to stay out of jail, and would have to continue to give her child support for both children. They also figured that because I stopped paying her support after the IDO stopped, when I left the company I retired from, that I was also in arrears for almost $14000 to her. I never heard of anything so stupid. I thought the courts were suppose to uphold justice. The signed agreement I have means nothing according to what the legal system has allowed. Is my ex not guilty of fraud, and what can I do to stop this, and get back the money she received and is continuing to receive that she should not be. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Long process

I have visitation rights of my two children here in Florida. I had to petition the court numerous times to get them to enforce the visitation because my ex refused. Since then, visitation has still not been consistent; my ex attempting to place the children in the middle. My children are 15 and 9. I have contacted HRS in my county several times concerning neglect on my ex’s part…three times the report concluded possible neglect, but nothing was done. I was told that I’d need to get a lawyer. My 15 yr old was kept expelled from school last year for trouble she got into.

When the timperiod was up and it was time for her to back to school, my ex did not send her and the child was kept out of school for approximately 5 months…failing because of it. I have contacted the school, the school board, local newspapers, Child Welfare, and was told by everyone that nothing could be done and I needed to get a lawyer.

My 9 year old is left alone after school (the 15yr old lives with my step son)because my ex works from 4pm until 12am sometimes longer. My concerns with this is that my ex wife is Korean born, has not applied herself to learn this language and doesn’t take the time to help my 9 yr old with her homework.

I want custody and although I’m “saving” for a lawyer,, find it hard to believe that nothing has been done to this point. Advcie, comments?

Dads rights

I’m here to fight for Dad’s rights. The father’s role in a child’s life is not important to our current system. The only thing which matters is child support. The more they collect, and the more “deadbeats” they punish, the better.

Never mind that many CS awards are unreasonably high, even exceeding the Dad’s actual income in some cases. Never mind that the mother isn’t required to account for a penny of the money she’s entrusted with.

We need to pursue “presumption of joint custody” laws which would discourage these mothers from using the system to turn fathers into walking ATM machines.

I’m glad to be a part of the group…it looks like there’s a lot of traffic here. I would also ask other Dads to take the survey